Kurt Cobain’s Suicide

Kurt_Cobain_by_WillxGoesxRawr

When I was younger Kurt Cobain was every teenager’s god. His fate printed every shirt and his song’s played in every room like he was a prophet. And when he killed himself, he became immortal. Hearing him sing was a form of nirvana to the world of pop culture.

To be depressed for caring and not caring too much to other people is an emotion shown by Holden Caulfield, the protagonist and the antagonist of the book entitled the Catcher in the Rye. The supposedly adult book that became the most widely read published novel in high school and college students faced controversies in the year 1961 to 1982. The depression presented in the book was believed to motivate negative emotions to its readers. The shooting of John Lennon by Mark David Chapman, the assassination attempt of John Hinckley on Ronal Reagan and other famous murder cases by that time were all associated with the novel.

If only Cobain did not spend too much time thinking about being sad for other people’s form of entertainment, dreams of hitting more records and more cash by just playing music, then he would have been performing by now. And then on weekends, he’ll be having barbecue parties with his Krist Novoselic and other bandmates who would also buy their own barbecue grills next week. Now, why am I talking about barbecue parties here? Well, for the simple reason that normal people love barbecues. That’s the point.

If only Cobain was a regular father, he would have spent enough time and then learn to develop a personal attachment to his daughter. They would enjoyed shopping for barbecue grills and use them during weekends like any other regular father-daughter who love to shop together. He would have loved spending more time with his little girl and then he’ll forget ever pulling the trigger on his head.

If only Courtney Love was a stereotypical wife who would be a bit sweeter towards Cobain, everything might have changed and Cobain would see a positive influence in Love. They would have been sitting on some park by now watching movies, the normal things normal people would do.

After reading his suicide letter addressed to a childhood imaginary friend, named Boddha, I felt as if the depression started to corrupt me, the same depression I felt after getting emotionally attached to Holden Caulfield in the Catcher in the Rye. Cobain’s suicide letter presents some conclusions about Kurt Cobain: 1. Kurt Cobain saw himself hating almost every human being at the age of seven; 2. Kurt Cobain was no longer having fun performing on stage; 3. Kurt Cobain found himself slowly losing the real Kurt Cobain; and 4. Kurt Cobain wanted to be just like Holden Caulfield, they were both trying to be catchers in the rye. And I am just another Nirvana fan who feels depressed for Kurt Cobain and Holden Caulfield. I’m doe thinking about Kurt Cobain having a nice BBQ grill. Totally awful.

And then, DEPRESSION.

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14 comments

  1. cougart

    There are some people that you meet in life that you just know that they are not going to live to be a 100 years old

  2. cougart

    o Boddah

    Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.
    All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.
    For example when we’re back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins, it doesn’t affect me the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can’t fool you, any one of you. It simply isn’t fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I’m having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I’ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it’s not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’re gone. I’m too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.
    On our last 3 tours, I’ve had a much better appreciation for all the people I’ve known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can’t get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man! Why don’t you just enjoy it? I don’t know!
    I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can’t stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I’ve become.
    I have it good, very good, and I’m grateful, but since the age of seven, I’ve become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.
    Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I’m too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don’t have the passion anymore, and so remember, it’s better to burn out than to fade away.
    Peace, love, empathy.
    Kurt Cobain

    Frances and Courtney, I’ll be at your altar.
    Please keep going Courtney
    for Frances.
    For her life, which will be so much happier without me.
    I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU…………..laluma ui….!!!!!!!!!

  3. cougart

    What I was really hanging around for, I was trying to feel some kind of a good-by. I mean I’ve left schools and places I didn’t even know I was leaving them. I hate that. I don’t care if it’s a sad good-by or a bad good-by, but when I leave a place I like to know I’m leaving it. If you don’t, you feel even worse. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 1

  4. Gerald Galindez

    Hello there, i really appreciated this article, thanks for writing it.
    as you see Ive been very dormant in blogging, but as i read this. Im quite inspired.
    im recently hunting the book Charles r. cross wrote, heavier that heaven, bio of Kurt.,
    i cant find it in bookstores anymore…

    im happy i found someone who shares that same love…..

  5. Teya Sorroche- Guillermo

    Hi gerald:-) Thanks for the appreciation. I hope I can help you find and well, download the book of Charles Ross. I think we can find that book somewhere:-)

    I hope to write more kurt cobain stories:-)

  6. bulldawgger

    His suicide was a sad loss. His life was marked by chronic stomach pain and then drug addiction. The unreal world of stardom didn’t help, and his wife was too weak or high to help. We’ve all seen too many people slide down that sad slope to oblivion. The solution is to surround yourself with friends and loved ones, fill your days with love and light. It’s not by dropping out, but by plunging into life’s malestrom that wisdom is found.

  7. Thea Sorroche

    I couldn’t agree more with you bulldawgger. You should see how he performed on stage, there was always this sadness in his eyes. He reminds me so much of Holden in Catcher in the Rye.

  8. chiko

    I guess, there is life in death….hahaha!! what a brave but pathetic escape…..

  9. Kooch

    I was just four years old when Kurt died. I’m actually sad I wasn’t born earlier. My uncles would always tell me how they would save up their money to buy his records and t-shirts. I was bewildered and curious when they told me that, so I researched, and guess what? I instantly became a Kurt fan, too. I started collecting Kurt and Nirvana memorabilias. My very first was his Journals. It’s kind of pricey, but it’s okay. It was such a revelation, you know, reading from his very own point of view. I can pretty tell that sometimes, he is such a disturbed guy. But he can be a real goof. I find myself laughing while reading some of his humorous writings and comic sketches, and I got teary-eyed when I read his love letter to his then-wife Courtney. I do think that the publication of his Journals is an invasion of a dead man’s privacy, but oh well…I can’t help it. And I know most of us can’t really help it. His Journals is just one proof that Kurt has a hell LOT of different moods. But regardless of that, he’s always deeply loved.

    Cheers! 🙂

  10. Kooch

    I was just four years old when Kurt died. I’m actually sad I wasn’t born earlier. My uncles would always tell me how they would save up their money to buy his records and t-shirts. I was bewildered and curious when they told me that, so I researched, and guess what? I instantly became a Kurt fan, too. I started collecting Kurt and Nirvana memorabilias. My very first was his Journals. It’s kind of pricey, but it’s okay. It was such a revelation, you know, reading from his very own point of view. I can pretty tell that sometimes, he is such a disturbed guy. But he can be a real goof. I find myself laughing while reading some of his humorous writings and comic sketches, and I got teary-eyed when I read his love letter to his then-wife Courtney. I do think that the publication of his Journals is an invasion of a dead man’s privacy, but oh well…I can’t help it. And I know most of us can’t really help it. His Journals is just one proof that Kurt has a hell LOT of different moods. But regardless of that, he’s always deeply loved.

    Cheers!

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